Yesterday I was KIPing on the green baby sweater at the daughters' gymnastics club, and two people asked if I was expecting. The muggles just do not understand us.

Ennui

Let me explain why I feel like such a big blob of nothingness lately, as far as knitting goes anyway, and how I am trying to dig myself out of the pit. The story begins in late October.

Around Halloween my younger daughter, aged 9, an A student, national stream gymnast and always the picture of robust health, started getting sick. Soon she was weak, pale, bleeding internally and suffering terrible intestinal problems. Several visits to an unsympathetic family doctor later, we found ourselves at the end of a very long waiting list to see a specialist. Our appointment was scheduled for April. By mid-December we were frantic and managed to harass the unsympathetic doctor into having us moved up on the list. We managed to squeeze in thanks to a timely cancellation and got the poor kid admitted to hospital, where she was diagnosed with moderate to severe inflammatory bowel disease and put on a nasty brew of very strong drugs. She is now on the mend and we're crossing our fingers that her remission lasts a good while.

What, you may be asking, does this have to do with knitting? Not a whole lot, except that for a couple of months I lost interest in everything but getting help for my baby. I did knit a row here and there but I was too rattled to concentrate on anything more complex than Deal or No Deal, which I found strangely therapeutic during the ordeal. The sad result is that I sit here with countless UFOs and a big hole in my charity knitting with the year-end for the charity group approaching. I realize that I'm not going to make a big splash at the awards presentation.

This month I'm on a charity knitting binge in an effort to finish the year with a decent contribution. The trouble with charity knitting is that it leans toward the mundane. There's no point in using good quality wool because in addition to the cost issue you know that someone, somewhere is going to throw it in the washer. Acrylic rules. And of course the patterns tend toward the uber-traditional and the, well, less-than-exciting. Speed is of the essence here, and one doesn't want to get overly avant garde for hospital donations. So this is the kind of thing I'm trying to churn out.



I just need to put some cords or ribbons through the eyelets. And now I've started the same set in green.



I've also been working on the Moderne baby blanket from Mason-Dixon Knitting, which presents the comatose knitter with yet more garter stitch. Garter stitch is actually quite soothing when ones brain has been through a cheese grater, but it also has a tendency to bore the socks off ones feet.

Once we've had the February meeting and the charity binge is finished, I am going to tackle some UFOs and start one new project. I have three socks on the go as well as one lacy shawl and one lacy scarf that I intend to finish before the 2010 Olympics. The basement, of course, is jammed with other UFOs that will go on the agenda for 2012. The new project will be the long-promised Wonderful Wallaby for number one daughter. She's 12 and growing like a weed so I'm going to make her the small adult size. Hopefully it will still fit by the time it's finished.

And what do we need in order to commence a new project? Stash enhancement, of course! I received, with great excitement, the winter catalogue from Knitpicks and have been carrying it around cuddled to my chest like a teddy bear. I have a few needles and gadgets from Knitpicks but have not tried any of their yarns yet. This needs to be rectified ASAP. I ordered some Main Line (cotton/wool blend) for the Wallaby as well as three hanks of Shimmer to make a shawl for the older daughter. The young one also wants a Wallaby and a shawl so future orders are a distinct possibility. Shocking, I know.

the bingo lady

Sometimes one just has nothing to talk about. No FOs, no interesting new projects, not even a stupendous Random Act of Stupidity. Sounds like a fabulous way to begin a new year, doesn't it? So because I am feeling like such a boring lump of nothingness at the moment, I have decided to honour Sylvia The Bingo Lady. Now that I have typed the name, I am having doubts that Sylvia is actually her name. I think it is. I'm pretty sure it starts with an "S" anyway. Let's just call her Sylvia, shall we?

My connection to Sylvia The Bingo Lady is a distant one but I will try to explain it briefly without boring anyone silly. My daughters are competitive gymnasts, and as a fundraiser their team hosts a charity bingo at a local bingo hall every other week. My husband, a jovial sort of fellow who always seems to hit it off with senior ladies, is a regular member of the bingo crew. He and Sylvia became fast friends a couple of years ago when he gave her a hug because she hadn't had a good hug since her husband had died. Since then Sylvia has tried to keep track of his bingo shifts so that she can collect her hugs and repay him with yummy baking. And then yesterday she brought these for our daughters, along with a heap of assorted squares and butter tarts.



Wasn't that sweet? Somehow she even managed to hit on their favourite colours. I have to confess to the usual knitter's weakness for handmade gifts and in gratitude am willing to offer up the husband's services for as many hugs (or whatever) Sylvia might require. I'm enjoying the baking too.

Top 10 random thoughts that have popped into my head this afternoon

In which we begin knitting-related and eventually veer wildly off-topic. This would in all likelihood reflect the "other distractions" to which the blog title refers.

1. DPNs are A Good Thing. I have recently embarked upon a sock for the younger daughter in Opal Petticoat Cotton and have temporarily forsaken my magic loop experiment in favour of my beloved DPNs. What a relief.

2. The previously mentioned Opal sock makes three first socks in progress. Which is not good. Lordy help me when I reach the second sock crisis stage.

3. Charity knitting has gone all to hell recently. I've been working on the flippin' garter stitch baby blanket since the paleolithic era (approx.) and have not been accomplishing much else. Well, aside from a row on this sock and a few stitches on that one, which does not help my charity knitting situation as our group does not accept socks. So it looks like I'm going to be attending this week's meeting empty-handed. Again.

4. Although the previous item might make me appear incapable of constructing a proper sentence equipped with noun, verb and the other necessities, I deny this disability and plead poetic licence.

5. Professional dog grooming is another Good Thing. Our beasts (a German shepherd and a Catahoula cross) were stinky so we had them professionally laundered. Now they're soft and fluffy and smell like vanilla. Which is weird, yet good.

6. A vegetarian kid on a low lactose, low residue diet is very difficult to feed, especially when that kid is on steroids and wants to eat everything on God's green earth.

7. It is a very boring thing when ones husband is twice ones weight and therefore wants to spend all ones Christmas money on a better mattress, even though this lightweight is quite comfortable on the current mattress and could always use more yarn. Just saying.

8. I am way behind in updating my Ravelry stuff.

9. I hope there's something good on TV tonight. Why is there never a good movie on the movie channels when I am available to watch? We subscribed to them a good while ago, figuring we were entitled because we never seem to get out to the theatre, but it seems like they're always showing dreck.

And the #1 thought that has popped into my head this afternoon: New Year's Resolutions be damned. I have spent the day stuffing my face with pasta, chips and chocolate. Good thing I'll soon have a mattress strong enough to support it all.