OK, here's the plan.

I have finished the yellow baby jacket. I had intended to do the matching booties and bonnet but abandoned that plan following a dispute with the bonnet. One is requested to continue the lace pattern down the back panel after casting off 33 stitches at each end, but I did not end up with a convenient number of stitches to knit the pattern. After fighting with the lace for a few rows and finding my stitch count decreasing alarmingly, I decided to frog that bit and redo it in plain knitting, only to discover at the decrease row that I did in fact have the wrong number of stitches. And I simply did not care enough to try to figure out where it all went to heck. So the jacket is done, the bonnet is in the circular file and the booties are but an unfulfilled dream.

And now the time comes to decide what to do next. The blue shawl is officially in progress (oh yeah, must mention that I had to rip out that provisional cast-on I mentioned earlier because the stitches were crossed and redid using the crochet chain technique) and is whipping along at a pace that would put a snail to sleep. Laceweight yarn and 2mm needles do not make for a quick project. So that's my long-term, hope-to-finish-it-before-I-die project. I have started an ultra-simple crochet baby blanket using the yellow Baby Coordinates and a freebie Bernat pattern. And here is the plan. I'm going to finish some second socks: One plain ordinary sock in Kroy jacquard, and one Ribbed Lace from Sensational Knitted Socks in Opal Petticoat. And then I will be free to start some of those Socks of the Month that are piling up around me.

And now for something completely different. Here's the creepy mutant sunflower that is looming over my deck.



Yes, I garden as well as I knit.

I have stopped hyperventilating and am ready to give a coherent report on my yarn shopping expedition.

The time: Saturday afternoon
The place: Spinrite Factory Outlet tent sale in Listowel, Ontario

Set out from home base in Mississauga right after lunch, accompanied by disinterested yet cooperative husband and two daughters who are eager to spend money on practically anything. If this had been a sale on refrigerator parts they still would have turned up with allowance in hand. Took route recommended by outlet store's website, which involved a whole lot of sitting still on the highway coming into Kitchener. Wise husband decided to go through Guelph on the return trip and it was much faster.

Arrived at the tent after about two hours of stop-and-go traffic and a few wrong turns. Who could have guessed that Listowel Road leads to Listowel? Yes, we did actually dismiss that possibility at one point but reconsidered after consulting a map. Upon further reflection I realize that the map probably should not have been necessary. Was delighted to find two Port-A-Potties onsite; they are obviously aware that yarn people will drive huge distances to support their habit.

The tent was awesome. Now, if you have any yarn snob tendencies at all, you might not want to read any further. There was nothing that I would describe as elegant. Right off the top, there was floofy stuff galore. If you had a craving for fluff, fur, feathers, bobbles or pompoms, this was your tent. I am not a floof-fancier so I bypassed those cartons. Alas, my daughter was tempted by a 10-pack of Bernat Boa for $10. I resisted the urge to pretend not to know her. She isn't even 11 yet. There is still hope. And the other daughter, age 8, bought a weird hank of very bulky thick-and-thin something-or-other for $2. It is currently gathering dog hair on my bedroom floor. I suspect it will never serve any higher purpose than that. But she unloaded her allowance and was happy as the proverbial clam.

I started with the Bernat Lana, a product I'm not familiar with. I believe it has been discontinued and I'll hazard a guess that it isn't of the highest quality. But at $5 for six balls of 100% merino wool, I figured I couldn't go wrong. There were only two colours available, chocolate and smoke, and I bought two bags of each, using the buy-three-get-one-free deal. I have far more plans for it than its mileage will allow. It's touted as highly feltable so perhaps the husband will get his danged tea cozy.

Next into the sack -- I should mention that they provide huge garbage bags to use as shopping baskets -- was another buy-three-get-one stack of Bernat Baby Coordinates at three balls for $7. The only colour available was lemon yellow. It will make dandy baby blankets for charity.

By this point Darling Daughter #1 was laughing out loud at me. In only a couple of minutes -- this was, of course, following a 10-minute reconnaisance mission -- I had stuffed my sack with 36 good-sized balls of yarn. In the interest of shutting the child up I decided to ease up on the free bag thing. Incidentally, I noticed that other shoppers had come in groups and were able to make very cunning use of the free bag deal. An excellent idea.

I grabbed a bag of 10 balls of Bernat Baby (why do I seem to be constantly rambling on about Bernat Baby?) for $5. Now, here's where I really should have done the free bag deal. I could have endured a little more snickering to get 40 balls of baby yarn for $15. But I didn't. This one was available only in white, which lessened its appeal a bit.

There was also only one shade of Shetland Chunky, which does contain a bit of wool. It was a dark teal and I absolutely loved it. I should have bought two bags. Or more. But I didn't. I hope 10 balls will be enough to make myself a little something. The bag was $9.

A new discovery for me was Patons Lacette. It's a fine mohair blend that would be fabulous for shawls. They only had sucky colours -- baby blue, baby pink or cream -- but at 6 balls for $10 I can do sucky. I bought the blue.

At this point I decided it was time to exercise some fiscal restraint. I was at $60 and could barely carry the bag. I could certainly have justified forking over more. There was a good colour selection in Bernat Big Value at five balls for $9. There were a couple of other baby yarns, some Bernat Satin in pretty colours, Patons Classic Wool in a colourway that involved a purple stripe. Also kitchen cotton: Bernat Handicrafter, Sugar & Cream in balls or on cones for $5. Oh yes, I could have spent much more.

The husband at some point felt the need to escape. He snuck out a back exit where a stockboy asked if he needed any help. He explained that no, he was just trying to escape the crowd. The stockboy replied with some heresy like, "Yeah, too much yarn in there." I am speechless. And a group of women who had driven up from Michigan engaged him in conversation while he waited outside. He asked whether the drive had been worth it. They replied with great enthusiasm that it had been even more worth it than they had expected.

Once I had dragged myself and the husband had dragged my shopping bag out of the tent, we hit the store. It wasn't as much fun as the tent, but it was worth a look. I found some Cottontots in pale yellow at three balls for $6.99. I've been eager to try it for facecloths but wasn't willing to pay retail. The girls had some fun in the seconds bin, where yarn is 22 cents per ounce, and they both bought some colourful variegated stuff for less than a buck each. They say they are going to make Barbie clothes. Yeah, sure they are. Pardon my skepticism but I have helped them cast on many a project but do not recall helping with any cast-offs yet.

Even the drive home was very pleasant. The route goes through Mennonite country and I was embarrassingly excited to see the horses and buggies driving along the shoulder of the highway. I finished a sleeve of the much-discussed yellow baby sweater, while the girls read a Goosebumps book together in the back. Quite idyllic.

The sale is on for another week. If you love acrylic, floofies or cheap wool, I highly recommend it.

Look. Yarn.

Listowel. Yarn Sale. Spinrite. Tent. Sorry, I'm a bit incoherent.

-10 balls of Bernat Baby
-12 balls of Bernat Baby Coordinates
-10 balls of Patons Shetland Chunky
-24 balls of Bernat Lana
-6 balls of Patons Lacette
-3 balls of Bernat Cottontots

Grand total before taxes: $66.99. Amazing. Going back next year. For sure.

this will all end in tears

Well, folks, here it is. The much-ballyhooed yarn has finally made its way to my mailbox and I have cast on. This is my first-ever attempt at an invisible cast-on. I don't know if I did it correctly but so far it seems to be behaving approximately as a cast on should. Prepare to gasp in awe.



I know. It's overwhelming. Try to take deep breaths.

I see that my next task is to work 48 repeats of a 48-row lace pattern. I wish the magic number was 42 because I am seriously channelling Marvin right about now.

Baby sweater, take two

My Words of Wisdom For Today: It is preferable to use yarn that is appropriate for the project.

Here's a blurry picture of the baby sweater/jacket/thingie, in appropriate yarn. I do not know why the picture is blurry but I assure you I am miffed.



I wish I had taken a picture of it when I was trying to use the thicker yarn. In addition to the yarn issue, there were some oddities in the lace pattern as written. There are two rows with double decreases and for some reason the pattern has them all slanting to the left. On my second try at this thing I had the wit to substitute decreases that slant in the correct direction.

I will not be defeated!

I am restarting that Bernat layette set, which I never really liked in the first place, using yarn that claims to give the same gauge as the Bernat Baby. I was just starting to get the hang of the lace pattern and am not going to surrender now. Unfortunately the original purpose of this exercise was to find a use for the LB yarn, but it's on its way back to the basement.

If it works, pictures will follow. If it doesn't, well, I'd rather not speculate on the repercussions.

As usual, I am dazed and confused.

Remember the baby jacket? The one I'm knitting out of Lion Brand Baby Soft and a pattern that I thought was on the ball band? And then I thought it was on the Lion Brand website?

Wrong. It is on the Bernat website. It calls for Bernat Baby Soft, which is most decidedly not the same as Lion Brand Baby Soft. The Bernat is much finer, more the traditional baby weight. Lion Brand Baby Soft is sport weight, comparable to Bernat Softee Baby. All of which explains why my jacket is pachyderm-sized.

Has this woman never heard of swatching, you ask? Um, yes, it sounds vaguely familiar now that you mention it. But I got lazy because I thought I was using the specified yarn. I KNOW! I should have swatched anyway. Didn't.

The end result of all this will probably be a 6-month size instead of 0-month. I'll have to adjust the lengths to make the proportions work. That is not a problem. And the LB Baby Soft is a big honkin' ball, unlike the Bernat, so I'll probably have enough to do the whole layette. Which is good. All's well that ends well. Will post a picture one of these days.

later that same day...

The comedy of errors has come to a fitting conclusion: the stupid jacket has been ripped out. It would more likely have fit a six-year-old than a six-month-old. Maybe I'll go back to the LB ball band...

Join us next time for another hilarious installment of Adventures of a Knitting Moron! Now I'm going out to the hot tub where I can't possibly mess up anything else.

retractions

May I correct and/or clarify a few items from yesterday? Thank you for your indulgence.

First, the baby jacket I am knitting is not on the ball band, as I had stated, but I think it is on the Lion Brand website. I think. I am working from a photocopy but I know I've seen it somewhere else recently. It looks like it's going to be big enough to fit a baby elephant but I am keeping the faith. Second, I said that although I was finding it tricky to follow it was rated intermediate. Correction: it is rated easy. Maybe it's just me.

As for the Faroese shawl, it is in the basement in the Naughty Knitting Corner. I screwed it up beyond redemption last night and had to rip back to a lifeline, which was of course badly inserted. I am going to wait for a day when I'm feeling calm and patient to try to find all the stitches again. Mercifully there's no lace in the row I'm picking up, and only 31 stitches of lace in the row above it.

And now I am off to Wal-Mart. DD#1 is headed for camp tomorrow and she needs supplies. It is not inconceivable that I might take a detour through the yarn aisle.

too many projects!!

Anyone know how to slow down time? I am the lucky beneficiary of a destashing. The lovely and talented Jen, who works with my husband and occasionally pops up on this very blog, had some Debbie Bliss books she needed to unload. Being the selfless, helpful soul that I am, I offered to take them off her hands. And now I am in a total panic because I have added a horrific number of items to my must-knit list.

Here is a preliminary list of items from these books that I must knit before I die.

From Teddy Bears:
Sleepy Bear in Rabbit Suit
Bear in Nightshirt with Hat.
Pyjama Bear with Dressing Gown.
Jogging Bear.
English Gentleman Bear.
Fisherman Bear.
Ballerina Bear.

From Nursery Knits:
Teddy All-in-One, which is the cutest thing ever in the history of anything.
ABC blanket.
Fair Isle Ballet Top.
Twinset with Fair Isle Border.
Coat with Contrast Lining.
Cable Jacket and Beret, a serious contender for second-cutest thing ever.

From Home:
Cable and Moss Stitch Bag.
Felted tea cosy.
Moss Stitch Jacket.
Seaside Throw.

Meanwhile, I have been diligently working on the Faroese shawl, which despite my efforts hasn't changed appreciably since the picture I posted recently. And I have started a baby jacket for the charity group using Lion Brand Baby Soft yarn and the pattern on the ball band. I know, I'm a radical. I am intrigued by the difficulty ratings of these two projects. The shawl is rated "experienced" while the baby jacket is "intermediate". But I'm finding the shawl pattern much easier to follow than the jacket, perhaps because the shawl has charts. Anyway, it shows that you can't take the ratings too seriously.

And there are other WIPs, of course. I'm setting some aside to avoid making myself (more) crazy.